After last night, I could never be a politician.
dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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