Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize