That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
i was like hansel and gretel. i puked a trail from mcdonalds to our place so i could find my way back in the morning
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
