sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
Gez, you make a couple noises and all of the sudden your the loud girl.
I have only made 3 good decisions in my life and getting really stoned reenacting the Lion King with my cat in a lion mane hat is 2 of them.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
