11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
No he exists. Who else tells me no matter how drunk I am to pull out. He's watching over me so my bastard doesn't get created.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
Judging by my bruises, I know I took more than one tumble. I probably pulled u down w me, and then punched you in the knee. Been trying to find a place to fix my phone between naps today. Almost no place accepts hand js as currency these days. 2013 is gonna be expensive and whorey.
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
