She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
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I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
She started giving me head while we were watching the Walking Dead premiere, WORST BJ EVER.
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
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Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
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