found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I tried to tell him I love him but it came out something like "We're both fucked up and it works."
What was she thinking? I'm not in the business of charity fucks anymore.
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
