Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
I woke up wearing a lax pinnie under my shirt, a triathlon medal, and a dora backpack... I think I had fun
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
