he shaved USA in his pubs
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
Do 'mystery' cracked ribs heal any quicker than regular ones?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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