How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
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