woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
splinters make it hard to masturbate
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
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