we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
the night ended with taco bell and tears
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
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