Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
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