i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
Dude I pulled down his pants and he already had a condom on
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Just took adderall with about half a bottle of red wine...i have stopped trying for this last exam
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
Randomize
