I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
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