were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
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