I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
My apartment is also really close to an alcohol rehab in case I get out of hand
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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