I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
if you don't go to jail tommorow I'll buy you a 40. Motivation.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
The last mom I slept with was the worst lay ever. Imagine fucking a hairy wet pillow for 60 minutes. Good luck with your milf. I was joking about the Susan Boyle comment btw.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
wtf... you literally introduced yourself as "that friend who's going to fuck all your other friends."
I hope you know that means regardless of their gender.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
