Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize
