I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
The only downside so far to having a guy roommate is that when he's doing a walmart run, I just can't bring myself to ask him to pick up a pregnancy test for me. I feel like that's just too much too soon.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
