So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
