it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Good god, my descendants are going to be fucked.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
