I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
he aplogized for the shitty sex and called me "ma'am" when he did it. And he wants redemption sex. Gah I love southern gentlemen.
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I always ask when they're due. It's the nicest way for me to let her know the rest of the world can tell she's putting on weight too
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
