I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
We had everything under control until this one jackass fucked up. Thanks, Peter.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
