Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
my shit smells like andre
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
They're pole dancing on a handicap sign post.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
That's too much drama for once a month dick... that's in-house dick drama only
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Randomize
