your room smells of hookers.
And success
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
Wore a burger king crown while giving head still drunk this morning #blessed
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize
