He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
I have a breathe right strip stuck to my forehead, several inexplicable bruises and I think someone tried to paint my nails with glue, but I still have my Santa hat. I'm gonna call this one a success.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
The adults are the big ones right?
My friends say stay away from him but it’s still 2017 so I’m allowed to make shit decisions until midnight hahah
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