oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
Was in the middle of a keg stand, the frat guys dropped me, and I broke my nose. My mom didn't enjoy that call from the hospital.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
