bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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