Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
o shit let me call u back theres a hamburger in my pocket
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
I tried douching with a turkey baster. Not the brightest idea.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
So nowhere in the dress code does it forbid me from showing up to City Hall in a gorilla suit to meet the mayor.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Randomize
