Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
i knew you were okay when you wanted to eat in the ambulance
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
How do you get kicked out of 3 different Subways in one night..
Not very gracefully, that's how.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
When a guy asks for your ig but you already know his blood type, social security number, & mother's maiden name.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
