My girlfriend figured out who you are.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went out to dinner with the girls thinking I'd be home early. Instead I ended up in the Englishman's hotel room. Long Live The Queen.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
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