someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
babies were throwing up all over the place
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
Sent him a nude and I forgot to crop out the Jesus picture in the background. The Catholic guilt is too real.
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