so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
A chick at the bar last night took my black berry, looked at my Brick Breaker score and told me she couldnt take someone that has a lower score than her seriously.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
