No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
If this nail lady pinches my achilles one more time im kicking her directly in her bedazzled boobs
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
