Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
you would not believe what I got pierced last night...
son, I feel like that is a phrase a father never wants to hear.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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