i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
