Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I still cannot believe I yelled at every guy at the bar "you wanna get in this clam?!"
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
You gotta start bringing a flask to work so you can get a head start
Possibly a very genius or very terrible idea...
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
Babe, Have you see my pants?
Try Jay street in Brooklyn.. that's where I last remember seeing them.
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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