Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
