You just made me feel so damn special
Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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