She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
We fucked so hard and loud that the everyone at the party downstairs starting chanting his name. Oh I we broke a lamp.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
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