Old men and throwing up are my life now.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
there is no excuse for him not showing up to my st. patrick's day party. i touch his dick. i get him on the high holidays.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
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