O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
BRING THE BAGELS
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
