I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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