I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Randomize
