I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
there has got to be a maximum amount of semen a person can take in before they get some kind of poisoning.
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
iphones do not disturb setting is the biggest cock block to my 3am booty calls
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I smoked that joint really fast and now I'm so high I'm crawling around on all 4 giving my dogs piggie back rides pretending its the macy day parade for dogs and I'm their giant human float.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
