just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
my roommate left her license, credit card, and cellphone on her desk. I feel like this is a trap.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
Randomize
