big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
my whole body is tingling just thinking about the orgasm hes going to give me
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
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