i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
There is a french fry attached to my steering wheel and a note that says "eat me yum yum" can you explain this?
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize