she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
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