in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
you were wandering around the street for like an hour singing "nothing but socks on"..an original you wrote after the 12th shot i believe
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I think rescheduling my finals around when Im going to be hungover is responsible
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
Randomize