I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Would it kill us to punctuate. That last text took me 5 min to read
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
