Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
He has crabs, not bed bugs. I recommend incoporating a clinic on this mornings walk of shame route.
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
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