I wanna bring you to show and tell
And then a tiny penis fell out of my purse
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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