I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I’m at the Eye doc, sitting in the waiting room. The woman next to me is highlighting passages in her bible. I’m watching pornhub on mute. I clearly need some penis, or Jesus.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
