nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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