Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
Randomize
