your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
It's never too late to be topless.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
ahhhh just came to creep and you're not there AND your thong you were wearing last night is on the floor..someone has some explaining to do
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
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