Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
idk if you're aware of this...but we could potentially have the greatest hate sex...ever.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
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