I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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