i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
Just fell asleep during a bikini wax. Thank god for day drinking.
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
I would like to formally reclaim my title of a turn up queen.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
