I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
I just did my online traffic school at the bar. No biggie.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
Randomize
