guys are only as good as the porn they watch
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
A guy claiming to be the Japanese counterpart to the White Power Ranger is trying to take me home....
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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