We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Come over and play the Jeter 3000 drinking game. You drink if the commentators say "captain" or "3000". I'll drink if they say "overrated" or "past his prime".
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
I need to bang the neighbor boy. He’s given three women screaming orgasms this week alone.
Also, my apartment walls are too thin
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