return my video game
On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
You can't special order awesome
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
